


Wait for the Wave

by ThirdGenerationRockette



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Mac throws caution to the wind, S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirdGenerationRockette/pseuds/ThirdGenerationRockette
Summary: “Don’t you get tired, Billy?”“Tired?” he looks down at her hand covering his and waits. “Of being unhappy,” she says, “I do. I’m so tired of it.”





	Wait for the Wave

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Paloma Faith's _Just Be_.

“You were quiet tonight.” He slides into the seat beside her, invading the corner of the bar she had claimed as her own half an hour earlier.

“Was I?” She stops, reaching for the drink he put in front of her when he sat down. “Well, maybe my anchor was behaving himself for once.”

“Doesn’t usually stop you.” He nudges her arm and although she's looking across the bar to where the rest of the team is sitting she can hear the smile in his voice.

“Maybe I felt like giving you a break.” She turns to face him and once he meets her eyes she can’t bring herself to look away.

“And maybe hell is about to freeze over.” His gaze flicks away for just a second but then he somehow edges closer. “What’s really going on?”

“Nothing, I…” She starts to deny it, give him her usual answer but she suddenly decides to throw caution to the wind so she reaches for his hand. “Don’t you get tired, Billy?”

“Tired?” He looks down at her hand covering his and waits. 

“Of being unhappy,” she says, “I do. I’m so tired of it.”

She looks away, her heart suddenly skittering as her brain tries to take back control and stop her from saying anything else. It’s a losing battle though, her heart is firmly in the lead tonight and there isn’t a damn thing she can do about it.

“Mac...“ There’s a hint of a warning in his voice, a tone she hears too often, making it clear he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Usually she'll back off but tonight she’s not in the mood to heed the warning.

“I’m tired of that too.” She sighs and takes her hand from his, wrapping it around her glass. “I’m tired of you shutting down the second I try to talk about us. You won’t listen when I try to tell you how sorry I am for what I did but you just keep on punishing me for it.”

“Fine.” He snaps, seeming to rise to a challenge she wasn’t even aware she had issued, “Let’s talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she says, knowing as she says it, she’s driving him crazy. “Mackenzie-“ he stops, sighing, perhaps wondering if she’s being deliberately obtuse.

“Day in, day out, I put up with your crap, you know why?” She doesn’t wait for a response, before she continues. “Because I love our show, I love what we do, I’m proud of what we put on the air and sometimes I don’t know if you give even the tiniest shit about me or if I’m just another EP in your long fucking list.”

“You can’t possibly think that.” He runs a hand through his hair. “That I don’t give a shit, I mean.”

“It’s how it feels sometimes,” she says, shrugging. “ I don’t have a clue what else I can do to try and make you realise that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Billy, I wish with all my heart I’d never hurt you. I love you, I wish I didn’t sometimes because then I could just walk away and make everything easier for both of us, but I do, so...yeah.”

The words fall from her mouth, completely unbidden and she wishes for a second that she could pick them up again and stuff them back in but she can’t so she risks a glance at him, genuinely unsure of what she’s going to see on his face. He’s looking at her with what looks like a mixture of disbelief and something she can’t quite place but it isn’t unpleasant.

Her heart charges ahead of her head once again and she swallows hard before reaching over and taking his face in both of her hands, ignoring the pounding of her heart, and kissing him. For a split second, he doesn’t move so she runs her thumbs across his cheeks and prays she isn’t making a terrible mistake, another one, and then she feels his lips catch up with hers and suddenly he’s kissing her back. Relief floods her senses and she moves one hand from his face to reach around the back of his neck, her fingers running lightly through his hair trying to pull him even closer to her as she deepens the kiss.

He’s the first one to pull away, as she feared he would be, but she steels herself for whatever he’s about to say, she's ready for him to start putting up the walls he allowed to briefly crumble. She rests her forehead against his, keeping her eyes closed, her hands appearing to act completely of their own free will, refusing to relinquish their hold on him. Eventually she wrenches herself from him, picks up her purse and stands up, unable to meet his eyes.

As she turns away, she feels his hand on her arm and she turns back, biting her lip as she glances up at him.

“I…” She stops because she doesn’t know what she was intending to say and she doesn’t want to apologise. She isn’t sorry, not for this.

"Mackenzie..." He lets go of her arm but startles her by running his thumb softly across her bottom lip.

"Will, please." She closes her eyes briefly, trying to regain control before she speaks again. "Unless the rest of that sentence was something along the lines of 'I love you, I forgive you' then don't- just, don't."

He looks at her for a long few seconds, his expression sad, a small frown worrying his brow, but he says nothing. She lets out a heavy sigh; she took a risk, it didn't pay off but she's left him in no doubt about how she feels, it's all she can do for now. Managing to give him a small smile, despite the butterflies in her stomach threatening to become stampeding wildebeest, she once again turns to leave.

"Mac?" His hand stops her again and a glimmer of hope climbs up her spine, sinking again when he seems to rethink whatever he was about to say.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Billy," she says softly, turning one last time and heading for the door.


End file.
